Long Goodbyes

Saying farewell to something you love is often associated with sadness and longing. People are particularly hard to leave or let go. But what about the destructive things in our lives? Why are these so hard to release? I learned about the concept of writing a goodbye letter to alcohol only recently, but it's brilliantly simple…

Life is a beautiful lie, and death a painful truth.

4 years ago this month, my 48-year-old brother and only sibling died of kidney and liver failure in a Houston hospital, the result of years of alcohol abuse that finally put an end to the party. He wasn't homeless or penniless. He wasn't unemployed or mentally ill. He was smart, wickedly funny, and strikingly handsome.…

An Imperfect 10

10 months sober and valuing progress over perfection

The Funny Thing about Me

When you're sober, the spotlight suddenly doesn't seem so important.

No Really, I’m Fine

I’ve been divorced since 1997, darn near 20 years. In that time, I’ve had lots of relationships, some good and some awful. The good ones were exceptions and the bad ones were the rule. The bad relationships were generally due to my choices in men, made when under the influence. I’ve got an excellent track…

Let’s Try Something New

After 8+ months of sobriety and AA meetings, I have just added Al-Anon meetings to my schedule. I'm dipping my toe in the water gingerly as this is something out of my comfort zone. AA has been and continues to be my main focus and central to my recovery from alcoholism. But in working the 12…

First the Grind, Then the Effortless

233 days sober. My alcohol cravings are gone, and have been for some time now. No longer do I pine for champagne to toast something special or yearn for a margarita to celebrate Cinco de Mayo (more like 6 margs in the old days). All physical, emotional and behavioral triggers have vanished. I believe in…

Common Ground

Last night, I wrapped up a blog post and ran out the door to an AA meeting here in Mobile, Alabama. I'd found one just a few blocks away and walking distance from the beautiful place I'm renting for the week. I'd never been to an AA meeting in another city and I rarely deviate…

Unbreakable

Around 15 years old, I began to believe that I wasn’t good enough for this world. I wasn’t smart enough, or pretty enough, or skinny enough, or desirable enough, and those beliefs became an accepted part of my psyche. These thoughts played out in my behaviors later in life, particularly with alcohol and men. While…

A Pinkish Hue

There are lots of buzzwords in recovery, “recovery” being one of them. And any time you have to learn a foreign language, it can be disorienting. I wonder if there’s some sort of urban dictionary of recovery to define things like “geographical” and “do the dishes.” I’ll Google it and get back to you but…